The Celestial CenterStage...

Kinda felt really woozy with the hot and dry AC air after my late lunch and lazying (that’s not even a word….still I like the sound of it) on my couch so decided to walk to the Carrefour to get some drinks. Was a very chilly evening walks….one of those ones where you have to push yourself against a wall to move an inch and above all your nose and lips are so frozen that they no longer form a part of you……but still it’s a heaven sent gift some times.
I thoroughly enjoyed that with 2 sweaters and a jacket all wrapped up…..On my way back had this weird thought that I have to express…..

i have always searched for answers from the blue infinity around the floating constellations...that blue space called the sky, that panel within which hang stars throbbing with a life of their own. Sometimes I am sure to receive a reply and at other times i find myself mesmerized and totally under the spell ...seeking answers which never get articulated the way i would wish them too…that inner voice if i can call it a consciences or my spirit seems to be my mind in a constant flux creating a sort of dissentions within..

I return again and again to my actions justifying myself and my deeds …then the stars above blink as though they understand my thoughts and are agreeable with my analysis ..the sky in its mysterious way unfolds itself offering me its infinite spaces. So I can fly out of my self created cage and glide through its immense spaces. Around the stars and the petulant planets that show directions to many a wayward night traveler.
There is that divine silence one gets to feel as though one is floating around a genteel aura...its as though you are filled up to the brim with peace ..With peace there might be an accompaniment of sorrow too but you are aware and deal with it in a very private manner…

We always ask questions to ourselves...
no matter how positive.....you always think the worst case scenario... Why is that??? I have absolutely no regrets to any decisions I have made yet I still find myself here outside on this cold March night on a distant soil looking at the GIANT OPERA of CELESTIAL FIRE BALLS... trying to search for something. I wonder when will I find what I am looking for , or even worst will I find that there was nothing that I was looking out to with such bated breath...
You know the only fear worst than being a total failure is the fear of being a mediocre ass. And the worst part is its not even about money ...They say everyone knows what they want...in that case I might be exceptionally dumb, cos for say I have absolutely no clue to put in a word as to what I want....although I have this very glim image which I am gonna dedicate my life to put into focus....But hey thats life, right and centre for you folks... Someone very wise once said " The most cruel human act would be to show someone their future, cos in reality you are actually robbing them of it...". Well as for me all I know is what I dont want.... and I am gonna cherish that....

Good night all you guys out there....

The weekend that was...

General opinion has started to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed...I don’t see that...It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often its not dignified or newsworthy...but its always there.....father and son, mothers and daughters, Husband and wives, Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Old friends....When the plane hit the twin towers, or the bombs shattered the London station, or the flight landed at Kandahar airstrip, As far as I know the phone calls from the people on board were not messages of hatred or aghast.....they were messages of love. If you look for it, I have this sneaky feeling that love actually is all around... I kinda like to believe that this life time is more than my petty boundaries and rules....and its so much more.
Well as for me my weekend was a fab one, I actually enjoyed to the hilt after a long time here in Shanghai....this even forces me more think is it the fact that I will be on home soil in matters of week now that’s making me such a happy soul or is it the fact there is still some hope left that these reds are capable of partyyyyyying..???

Ok so I was telling you about the spectacular events that shrouded my weekend….Well we had this amazing successful delivery and our client was like all gag a over the team, so PM finally decided that its high time to let the crew lose for a night in town….and that’s exactly what they did….they went and had a fantastic night in town. We all went to this real neat place called “Brazilian Bay”, it’s a BBQ Bar, a concept that my country has yet to come up with…the funky part was the experience. Let me start with what a BBQ bar is all about… it’s as the name suggest a place where there is lots of liquor and BBQ stuffed. They have these packages in which you get to decide the no. of BBQ items you need….Since the company was footing the bill we ordered the Jumbo….it had 62 types of different flesh\meat covered with BBQ souse and grilled to the bone…. I wasn’t even aware that you had so many animals on the table for culinary purposes to start with…..but that wasn’t enough, their dessert round if veg BBQ….yeah baby, they actually Barbequed bananas, pineapples, mushrooms and a lot more stuff… Drinks were beyond comprehension ….large pitchers of Beer and pint at so down to earth prices…… and to put the cherry on top…there were real life Latina and Arabic dances, a live band and blasting band…..in short it rocked.

Well that wasn’t quite enough, we booked a leisure centre after this (This was from our own pockets, and it stung bad…) but man was it fun!!! I had the company of 4 other of my teammates, one of who was a member to this royal place…….We played Badminton and Squash till dawn……what a night it was……rows of court together and all indoors. I stayed more to the badminton, and as for the rest of the crowd….they went for the less strenuous parts…like snooker and Billiards…..there was TT too. Seems pretty trivial as to how this can be so spectacular……but the taste of sweat on a 3 tie match xtended to a 5 setter has an amazing way to make your heart pound and adrenalin rush…. Go figure.

As for Sunday it was all oooh aaaah and oooouch with all the million muscles that I pulled. Got up around in the noon….went for grocery shopping with all the strength that I could muster….and finally crawled back home. Made delicious Rajma-Chawal….and hey it was delicious (My Flat mate Anjita can second me on that… J) as I have found some people to be highly doubtful about my culinary skills. Felt so much like home on Sundays… Things never looked so bright here in Shanghai before…..I m really having fun with all the packing and clustering my all so scattered flat. Who knows what’s this all about but I feel like I can jog a 1000 miles right now….saw 3 movies back to back….made pop corn and served myself with drinks. Anjita was so sweet to join me in the James Bond marathon that I hosted at my apartment. Got a jumbo pack of all released James Bond DVD’s at dirt cheap price…..


As for now I just cant wait to hop on that plane back to my friends and back to my India….As for now among so many things I am waiting for the most that I am looking forward to are my dad’s lecture on “What are you doing with your life, Son???” and my Saturday breakfast with this fabulous person I have always loved spending time with….

Sweet n Bitter mistakes...

I smiled at you because I thought that youWere someone else; you smiled back; and there grew Between two strangers in a library Something that seemed like love; but you loved me (If that's the word) because you thought that I Was other than I was. And by and by We found that we'd been mistaken all the while From that first glance, that first mistaken smile.

-Vikram Seth

Atheism Unleashed… A quick guide!!!

Hi
A couple of provisios before you proceedThis one happens to be a very strongly opinionated piece so quit, if you are incapable of having an open mind.
Henceforth written are totally my views and it has nothing to do with my world or yours for that matter.And Dad....if you are reading this, please browse over...

Hats off to Mankind…for he invented FIRE to prove he is worthy and then to neutralize the effect he went and found GOD… to cover up his excuse!!! . A quality that makes a man great and humble. According to me, it is a joke.....and a poor one at that.

"He was a God-fearing man". I don't know how many times I have read this phrase used to describe people in their eulogies and epitaphs. And yet, every time without fail, it amuses me. "God-fearing". What the Hell is that supposed to mean anyways? That he was scared of God? Apparently yes, that is exactly what it is supposed to siphon and according to the fools that most people choose to follow the teachings of, it is a good quality

Fear God, religion says. Well, pardon me for saying this, but if "God" was such a nice, forgiving and peace-loving guy, he'd hardly want me to fear him, would he? In other words the preachers want them to feared of the lot so that they can have the loot….Go Figure!!! Even dad doesn't want me to fear him....and you want me to believe that this "God" (whom I refuse to believe in) wants me to fear him? Get a life...and a brain as well, while you are at it......would do wonders for your blinkered and jaundiced vision (for those too shrouded, take a look around man).

God loves us all, religion says. Hmmm....interesting thought there, because this makes me want to question how it then happens that only the "true believers" of a religion will go to "Heaven", as per every religion that I have read up on. This also leads to an intriguing thought process. What if there are two people, who are both "true believers" but of different religions? As per the religion of each of these two paplus, he will go to Heaven for being a true believer, but the other will be condemned forever to Hell, for not being one......Hmmm......parallel Universes I have read about....but I must admit that Parallel Heavens and Hells is a new concept......perhaps the religious preachers would like to explore this one.......oh wait, they're too bigoted to do that, aren't they? Well, either way, it just makes me ask the question, "If your God loves everyone, why does he discriminate on the basis of religion? What if an atheist lives a very pure and good life and a 'believer' is a damned terrorist? Who goes to Heaven then?"

Let's look at things prospectively here… you always say for that Silver lining thing anyways…right???. Most people think I am totally wrong in my views when I say that religions and the concept of God that they preach are the biggest stack of bulls*it that was ever gifted to this world. But even the slightest glance at religion and what it has given the world reveals that it has yielded little other than bloodshed, war, hatred, riots and terrorism. In addition of course, to creating the deepest divides that you will ever see between people who for all practical purposes should not really have any reason for not co-existing.

There is only one God, religion says, and all paths lead to him. Well, in that case, why proselytize? You have faith in God and in the way of life you believe in, Mr. Smith has faith in another way of life.....why must you make him believe in yours? Bullcrap, when you think of it that way, isn't it? A small example of this at work. After the tsunami, there were some Christian "relief" organisations (from the "oh-so-liberal" USA) that were caught on camera telling the victims that they had food, water, medicines and other aid with them, but they would only give it to them if they first converted to Christianity. It was all over Aaj Tak yet all of us thought better to pull one of our blind eye acts… Oh yes, we believe in your secularism and one-God concept now......
Another hilarious incident was when I was accosted by this dude in Beijing at Railway Central. Well blood boiling in -15 degrees is quite a life lasting experience I tell ya. He is all like do you believe in spiritualism…which is yet another new fad coexisting somewhere between bullcr* and bullsh*. He seem to endure his wife having these fits in which she shakes like a heaven sent gift, in his own words and the xplanation……here comes..”Its an energy outflow…” sheesh that just made our prof EINSTEIN roll up in his grave…I say get your head treated, and while you are at it take your wife for a medical treatment. His justification is to understand all this you have to leave all your senses….yeah I believe that now …without my brains and other senses.

Then there was this nun from my sister’s college(Hey Didi, I am talking of Sister long nose…you remember) who told me that she wanted to tell me about God. I love playing around with total losers like these, so I just decided to have a little fun. I already know what you want to say, I told her. I have my own faith and beliefs and do not need you to tell me about anything. "No. I am here to tell you about the true God" was her response. Huh? "There is no God. And even if there were to be one, with an attitude like yours, you are the last person that is likely to know anything about him, sicko".

One must respect other faiths and allow people religious freedom, is what the religious preachers say in public. One wonders then why even the all so pure and holy Pope opposed the move by a particular state government to ban "forcible conversion". One also wonders why people like Osama bin Laden and co. are openly supported by religious clerics.....it is indeed astounding to think of the magnitude of hatred and destruction that has been wrought by this diabolic contraption called religion, which was created by the minds of power-craving sadists, but it is even more mystifying to see the supposedly educated and modern people of today blindly following the same diktats with conviction that is so horribly misplaced.

Why should I believe in your silly concept of God? People go to their places of worship and listen to some stupid priest say some crap about what "God" wants them to do. Well, who told him that anyway? He's just a stupid self-serving prick who loves the idea of the power he feels when he can stand there and address all those people from his pulpit and feel good about the number of morons that actually listen to him spew nonsense into the atmosphere around him.....who ever gave him the right to preach? And by inference, why should I believe in anything the f*** loser has to say?There has been absolutely nothing positive that has resulted from these religious missionaries. And that is quite simply because they have nothing to offer. I too could stand up and make an impassioned speech about how "God" wants the lot of losers in front of me to be "good people" and "(make ;-) ) love to their neighbours". I too could write books about how I am the Messenger or the Son or the nephew or excreta of God and how everyone should pray, what postures they should sit in, what position to squat in how their duty is to endeavour to impose the faith I preach onto the rest of the world. I could do these quite easily and so could a lot of other people....in fact, just about any Tom or Dick or Harry, could quite conceivably do all these tasks and more within the space of a couple of days, without having broken a sweat. Try standing without the crutches that man developed and named it religion and god….yeah…feel the burn yet??? This is what you are and you always will be….a fab creation of molecular cells whose basic composition is Carbon and Hydrogen….with an unrivalled mind which is capable of so much maturity if only you open up to the possibilities and start asking questions. Will let you in with a lil secret….”Even so called the concept of GOD must be really shit scared by our existence….no wonder we were made mortals”

Now let's have a short look at what religion is giving the world today.
1. Terrorism across the freaking world (Osama and co.).
2. Territorial disputes across the world...which then result in terrorism (Chechnya, Palestine, Kashmir, Bosnia, Xinjiang etc.).
3. Gay paedophilia.
4. Motherwhore Teresa. (I have more data on this lady than you will be able to digest, so please refrain from trying to defend her, one hint just go thru her self journals…they got published over the net.)
Just to be very truthful, even I was very respectful to her a few months back…..
5. The "Save an Indian Soul" campaign sponsored by the American Catholic Church and supported by the Bush family among others. (Thanks, but I really think my soul can do without being saved by you....)
6. Rioting all over the freaking place.
I could go on forever...

The hypocrisy of religious organizations, the sheer hatred they spread and the lies that they try to make people believe in are despicable.Why do people then believe in God and religion? Simple. Because most people are just too damn weak, too inept and just too stupid to accept life as it is and to accept themselves, their shortcoming and weaknesses, without having a crutch called God, on which to blame all the "misfortune" and on whom to rely for support when they see how useless they are.....and miserably they have failed......so "God" bless your souls.....Fat chance.... All said and done, I am not afraid of your "God".....and let's see what retribution he takes for this.......!!!

Its a very "IDEAL" wor( L )d

My Present Stats :

State of Body: Perfidious
State of Mind: Drunken delight
State of Existence: Irksome...wanted to make that clear before you all start taoasting to the occassion that I have finally gone over the edge...

Had a thought so wanna share...
"Isn't it kinda tough to give up on the idea of the ideal?" think about it...

Here's to ....

Hey so here’s a small toast for the occasion.. What occasion??
oh well.. the suns set, the moons out, the lights are full, people going home, me at home, you guys all safe and sound.. my washrooms white than white ,My room filled with the aroma of adrak wali chai... ahhhhh.. for the perfect world.. isnt that occasion enuff??A lil secret, I make the best chai with adrak….
To Our friends “May they never have to rely on their patience to remain our friends..."Guys needless to say but I miss you all...but believe me this Sunday brought a whole new meaning to the word NOSTALGIA. The Oxford defines it as "wistful yearning for something past", I quite don’t agree. I say its 3 degrees more, its that rush in your blood when Younis hits sixes in the last over and you feel like strangling sm1 in that room. Its about tasting DalMakhani and remembering mom's voice yelling "Dinner's ready..." Well as for me this all happened in this very Neat place called "PUNJABI" here in China where I missed cheering for India with Govind my room-mate and using pretty good adjectives for the other team with Lalit. For the record I met 3 gentlemen from my home town and they shared the same feeling proving feelings stay transcended thru ages....cool eh!!!So here's to all my buds, who in no matter which nation I am in, are always close to my heart. I even had a thought as to how much the ad world has changed since I left... that new ad with Kareena for Pepsi, and the home loan ads....they were so hot that steam looked cool...!!!

Oh By the way its snow time in Shanghai...snowed for 2 continuous days....oh yeah baby...its all white!!! Aint that cool with you all cozy and warm in your proper air-conditioned room seeing the snow flakes smoothly gliding to ground where all poor souls are pushing against the wind and haze to reach their destinations, and all you wanna do is show them your hot cuppa coffee...ok ok that sounds a bit sadist. Sorry, but hey you all get to be in the place with best biryani and pubs with friends, cant I get a lil fun of mine...he he he!!!
Okies.. so i was trying to start a thought provoking issue.. i started with A B C and then suddenly realised that i dint quite remember the alphabets.. I mean school was like ancient history.. So i reasoned.. My creator, the big guy up there is like a smart guy.. ye.. and he likes everything to be perfect, and he made me perfect, and since its like too hard to improvise on perfections.. why the heck should I try.. right??? so here I am, back again with my imperfections :):)
And Closing as always with elegance and a thought....Do you have your friends near you in your life and above all have you told them that how much they mean to you.....Here is to Snow in Shanghai, Here is to the delicious Indian cuisine and above all here is to friendship.....I will catch you next week with another thought and another wonder....most probably the type of gal which one seeks......

And they Say...

Ever observed as to how a crappy day is directly proportion to the vague thoughts that engulf your senses. As for me today was one of those, so jotting down a couple of them to share with you guys.My mind is here, but truly, it should be somewhere else and belongs to someone else. Ever so gently, I'm being nudged into my future, and my emotions created from my past. I can't stand still in the present. And my mind rockets far away into stellar evenings, returning with dreams of horizons I have not seen.Well thats just the 15th floor open balcony and hot coffee talking as for English literature they call it the SURROGATION of mind from one's body....freaky eh???
Today after a long time and believe me its been long that I heard a good HINDI song here on alien soil, all thanks to my bud Sudhanshu in bangalore who after a long awaited series of self consortium, decided to have some empathy and share with me "Rang De Basanti" tunes,so blame him for I feel really patriotic today. But then again why shouldnt I...They say your Hosur road and your traffic is not organised, I say its better than DuPont circle of washington state where in a traffic jam 3 students got murdered or the Express highways where one crash stalls traffic not for hours but days... My hosur road is a symbol and motivation of literacy and health , almost all professionals are reading a novel or sleeping when stuck in minor traffic halt. They say about civic amenities....I say Ha....we get hit by a double strength natural disaster and we get back on our feet in matter of hours... as compared to some so developed nations who take such a hit that their symbol for economy goes down too(The fall of NASDAQ after The RITA hurricane)....yes I am talking about the Mumabai Storm compared to the one that hit Florida. And they say I am from a developing nation....go figure.Ever seen those american or Chinese commercials....sheesh they still use those hand drawn animations to sell product and we are taught that The WEST thinks out of the box... I say what a bunch of crap...Have they ever seen the AIRTEL ad where Maestro Rehman is pampering this kid with a mouth organ and falls on a tune which is incrementally added with other sounds and in the last it composes the simplest yet soulful melody...wasnt it awesome. Dil ki baat zubaan pe rakho fir dekho jadoo....isnt that so simple. Match that I say, never have I ever seen such a simple sight weaving a mesmerising magic. They say population is our weakness, I say its the miracle of Diversity, in which other corner can you see the largest ever democracy on this planet work yet keeping the perfect balance.
My thoughts elope into another time and into forgetful play of companionship. The moon retains the stolen image from another place, from when the sun belongs to another.I agree we never charted the constellations before the greeks but it was our mathematician who gave the logic and justification to all of those.Where else on planet you can see a guy rush out from a moving train just to help an old woman pick her packets on a platform cos his rugsack startled her.....well thats what I call compassion...I was that guy, hey Prashant remember that day at ajmeri gate....I know he has that scornful look on his face right now, talking of looks I bet Suyash has that unique one right now which silently says...Come here, I am gonna kick your butt and slap you, you showing off moron....well I take special pride in helping him perfect that.Then, my mind collapses into orgasms of loneliness and stellar nights. The silence within from a straying mind, and the rhythm of my step as I walk into my future and out of my past alone, more alone than intensity can justify.
In true words INDIA ROCKS...never would I wish to be born anywhere else...

The Past, The Present and The Future ???

Hello Bloggers,
A many happy Blessings from a land which celebrates The Second Lantern festival today. Quite an eventful week I had...mainly attributed to the lights and bright sky in the nights here in China for it is again a festival time. I wont boast about me understanding this culture a lot but have any one of you ever needed a reason to smile....if you answered YES to my last question, boy you need a shrink. What I am trying to say is that I had one of the most wonderful celebrations and its experience here on an alien land which does not understand my language and I dont understand theirs. Now the big Question mark....These guys dont even have a religion....then whats the celebration for....My answer is I dont know and frankly I dont care....a smile on every face wherever you look, the bright sky in night matching the Diwali in India or the 4th of July in USA....isnt that a moment of celebration enough. Why do people always hope for a myth behind a day to celebrate....we have all come a long way from our barriers and forget aside what the books teach us, the fact I believe in is that we all embrace the true happiness in the people around....and that my friend is bigger than any celebration on earth.Well as for me I celebrated friendship, I celebrated brotherhood and above all I celebrated anonymity...try it sometime. My flatmate and I were arguing the other day about the Past, Present and Future tenses in English...She being a trainer in languages is of the belief that there are only 2 tenses, she even cited some pretty good examples. She is of teh view that things change as our perception does...as for me I am happy with my 3 tenses...how else would I justify my maturity.....there was one time when I used to like girls with vital stats...that was my past, As for my present I like my company to be well read rather than well dressed, for now I enjoy conversation more than the essence of what rightfully is called the flesh stories of Adam and Eve.She also mentioned that there is always something worth appreciating in every effort no matter how grand the Fiasco is.....well I beg to differ but thats a story for another day and another Blog....catch you all next week...

Munich....the aftermath.

The moon shines into my melancholy, shining dully into my thoughts as they return, dusk-hued. The brightness giving way to darkness that shall soon melt into the grey of the winter sky. A permanent status of gloom. Grey, to me is a lonely colour. It is neither black nor white, but both, and neither... Never ceases to amazes me how people abandon their beliefs so maturely and so fast. Makes you to think all this what we stand for, is it really all just for a piece of land??? The great wars for one side and Acts of TERRORISM for the other? Well this was a train of thought which leaps thru my mind, after having seen the awesome movie MUNICH by Steven Speilberg. I really suggest all you bloggers to see it once atleast with an open mind, you might just ask yourself the same question.
Funny thing this logic eh??? I was taught that there is always a logic behind EVERYTHING, what generally misses is either the imagination to assume its existence, or the perseverence to trail it or the will to find it...I ask the Fathers of Science as to logic in this.

It did get nominated for the Academy this year....

Been there Done that...

Ahh the sweet last phase of a project....yes my friends its UAT time for me at this end, that means finally I get to sift thru my huge unread chunk of all forwards and lots of surfing time after 3 months of gruelling development. Well this blog isnt about a software lifecycle so wipe that look off your face....its about a very common thought that you and me face... THE GREAT SOFTWARE ENGINEER LEGACY... Ever sat down and wondered about the turns we took to get here. Sensex went up and crossed the 10K mark and I have this sense of urgency to xpress that I had something to do with it, but did I??? did any of us really ??? A very disturbing statistics which is true is that Software comprises of only 1.2 percent of this Giant uprising economy of the world. So where does the worth of doing something goes? Well as for me I hate everyone who was responsible for getting me thru engineering or else I would have been draping some of the fine young models of this budding nation by now. They ask me about my personal and social life after embracing the fact that I am a software engineer. I guess its a way of the world to mock an entity whose nearest sexual orientation is the thought whether he will have S*X !!! Go figure...
And thou shall not forget the divine devour of sensual cuisines and the Vanity of SIN... My PM asked me which cuisines I take delight in the other day...the real answer was the usual fancy names which I brilliantly surfed on net one day on company time to impress, but the fact what went in my head. Isnt it a dumb question to ask to a person whose real food comprises of bread and Maggi.....and an occassional glass of Beer. Sometimes I wonder whether the world of fashion and Food had us on their prohibited list, no wonder Jeans and T-Shirt still rocks for me...
Talking of my roots...I often wonder is it really worth comprehending cos all people of my age and stature simply love all religions , they give us holiday on each one of them ;-) Does it really matter which part of globe I really belong to cos for all I know I rent this expensive flat to just dump my clothes and sleep at night which easily suffices for a dorm room, I will spend most of my life in a hometown I call my company in that 6x4 cubicle which is so far from where I grew up and 40 years down the road will I even bother to look back in a world whose topography is no more defined by geography of nations but expansion of names like Microsoft, IBM, GM and other big companies....I wonder will our next generation even know as to what are nation boundaries were....